Hello Sisters!
Pregnancy was a wild, wild ride. So wild, in fact, I'm losing my hair over it. Literally, my hair is falling out.
Postpartum hair loss is a common after-effect of making a tiny human and birthing him/her. It strikes around 3-4 months after birth. Some people hardly notice it and some people are like, "WHATTHEEFF I'm going bald." I range more toward the latter and I've been silently struggling with it, big time.
Why? Because I'm vain. Cue the song... (You're so vaaain, you probably think this song is about you, you're soooo vaaaiiiin)
Here are the reasons:
1) I wanted to defy the odds of getting the dreaded "mom cut." The truth is, I had no idea I would lose so much hair. Because my hair is at empire waist length, it weighs it down and lacks volume or any kind of shape. I have no shape hair. I totally understand why some new moms get it chopped. The crap load of long hairs floating around EVERYWHERE in the house is less than desirable and downright gross.
2) I've somehow included having long hair into my identity. Lindsay = introvert, creative, coffee lover, wife, mom, athlete, long dark hair... etc. I don't know how it happened, but it's totally there. You know how I know? Because my first immediate thought of me with shorter hair is "that's not me. I won't feel pretty." Negative self-talk is not healthy, people. Plus, "I am not my hair." Thank you, India Arie.
3) My sisters have long dark hair. Ok you guys, this may seem silly, but seriously. I love that we all have longer hair. It made me feel closer to you in some way. A family trait. A sister thing. I liked sharing that with you.
4) I've spent three years growing it. Arguably, the dumbest of them all. For the last three years at each hair appointment, I'd say, "please, only 1/2 an inch off and clean it up" I was committed to my hair. Why? Because of vanity. I thought I am most stylish with long hair.
5) I view others with long hair as beautiful, therefore, if I have long hair I must be... this one wins the most embarrassing award. Sadly, it's true. Me = human.
My body is physically shedding something I've been coveting. I got the message, body. Long hair isn't everything. I don't need it. I'm lucky my hair still grows. Yesterday, after showering and cleaning up yet another handful of hair from the drain and tub, I looked in the mirror and said, "GET OVER YOURSELF."
So I am. My attachment to my hair is ridiculous. There are people out there losing their hair over very serious conditions and I should slap myself for being so selfish. The way I've chosen to combat the crazy attachment is to cut it and donate. Cut off the vanity and turn it into confidence for someone in need. I've decided to donate to the nonprofit, Children With Hair Loss, because they make and give the wigs at no cost to the child.
I have an appointment later today for a new cut. To be honest, I'm nervous about it. But I'm also excited. It's been a long time comin'. Thank you, post-partum hair loss, for the wake up call. I'll post with an update later!
Pregnancy was a wild, wild ride. So wild, in fact, I'm losing my hair over it. Literally, my hair is falling out.
Postpartum hair loss is a common after-effect of making a tiny human and birthing him/her. It strikes around 3-4 months after birth. Some people hardly notice it and some people are like, "WHATTHEEFF I'm going bald." I range more toward the latter and I've been silently struggling with it, big time.
Why? Because I'm vain. Cue the song... (You're so vaaain, you probably think this song is about you, you're soooo vaaaiiiin)
Here are the reasons:
1) I wanted to defy the odds of getting the dreaded "mom cut." The truth is, I had no idea I would lose so much hair. Because my hair is at empire waist length, it weighs it down and lacks volume or any kind of shape. I have no shape hair. I totally understand why some new moms get it chopped. The crap load of long hairs floating around EVERYWHERE in the house is less than desirable and downright gross.
2) I've somehow included having long hair into my identity. Lindsay = introvert, creative, coffee lover, wife, mom, athlete, long dark hair... etc. I don't know how it happened, but it's totally there. You know how I know? Because my first immediate thought of me with shorter hair is "that's not me. I won't feel pretty." Negative self-talk is not healthy, people. Plus, "I am not my hair." Thank you, India Arie.
3) My sisters have long dark hair. Ok you guys, this may seem silly, but seriously. I love that we all have longer hair. It made me feel closer to you in some way. A family trait. A sister thing. I liked sharing that with you.
4) I've spent three years growing it. Arguably, the dumbest of them all. For the last three years at each hair appointment, I'd say, "please, only 1/2 an inch off and clean it up" I was committed to my hair. Why? Because of vanity. I thought I am most stylish with long hair.
5) I view others with long hair as beautiful, therefore, if I have long hair I must be... this one wins the most embarrassing award. Sadly, it's true. Me = human.
My body is physically shedding something I've been coveting. I got the message, body. Long hair isn't everything. I don't need it. I'm lucky my hair still grows. Yesterday, after showering and cleaning up yet another handful of hair from the drain and tub, I looked in the mirror and said, "GET OVER YOURSELF."
So I am. My attachment to my hair is ridiculous. There are people out there losing their hair over very serious conditions and I should slap myself for being so selfish. The way I've chosen to combat the crazy attachment is to cut it and donate. Cut off the vanity and turn it into confidence for someone in need. I've decided to donate to the nonprofit, Children With Hair Loss, because they make and give the wigs at no cost to the child.
I have an appointment later today for a new cut. To be honest, I'm nervous about it. But I'm also excited. It's been a long time comin'. Thank you, post-partum hair loss, for the wake up call. I'll post with an update later!
Ok - so go with the mom hair (it DOES grow back) but avoid the mom jeans AT ALL COST!!!! And yes, please post pics asap - can't wait to see the new you do.
ReplyDeleteYay! You can do it! I love this post. I went through a DRAMATIC hair change this year, and though mine was totally self imposed, I relate to a lot of things you said here. I totally get the long hair = beautiful = I look beautiful equation. The reason I chopped mine was because my long hair represented something I used to believe about myself that I realized was no longer reflective of who I am. (It was more about having long mermaid hair and a fairytale life than anything.) I went through a really hard year, realized I saw myself as a different person, and took inspiration from Rooney Mara's Liz Salander and redid my entire look with a huge chop and color. And guess what... I LOOOOOVE it. I've had long, long hair for years, but now the shorter length as well as being creative with the color is so much more reflective of who I am. I'll be honest- I definitely feel less pretty. But I also feel more confident and actually more attractive. I let go of something I knew didn't represent who I was any more, and was rewarded by becoming even more happy descovering who I am now. I know the same can be true for you! Can't wait to see pictures!
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